


Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me, Gred?

by lunarlovegood



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Battle of Hogwarts, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Grief/Mourning, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Seventh Year, One Shot, Other, POV Second Person, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sad Ending, Weasley Family, Witches, Wizards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 20:12:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12153954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarlovegood/pseuds/lunarlovegood
Summary: Sometimes you wondered about the events that defined and changed you irreversibly. The kind of memories that made you fantasize about what could've been.There were a lot of things you were afraid of, but nothing scared you more then the war and a reoccurring nightmare that was a heavy reality ...You were undeniably in love with Fred, and with everything at stake, you finally had to confess.Fred Weasley/Reader One-shot, set in the Battle of Hogwarts.





	Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me, Gred?

**Author's Note:**

> '***' Indicates a time skip.

“ _To the left!_ ” howled Fred, as the Death Eater alongside Thicknesse berated you with spells relentlessly. Apparating to the left as instructed, you dodged two separate Binding Spells that were headed straight for you.

The air was thick with a smog, a burnt odor of acrid and dust clung to it, causing a dry cough to climb its way up your throat. Confringo explosions and shouting of all kinds dispersed in every direction, and only became louder with every passing second. You had been clustered together, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Fred, and Percy – being closest to Percy and Fred, they now resided on your right side. The spare Death Eater Fred was battling had finally collapsed after being struck by multiple Stunning Spells. While Thicknesse remained, he seemed to be in distress as he crumpled to the ground, tiny spikes erupting from his body.  
  
“If we die today, can I tell you I’m in love with you?” You shouted towards Fred.   
  
His gaze didn’t stray from the two Death Eaters immobilized on the ground, but a wide grin stretched across his face before saying, “Took you long enough,” He turned to look at you, his ginger locks windblown and eyes damp from the smoldering air, “Do you always wait seven years to admit your undying affection?”  
  
You let out an exhausted laugh before replying, “No, just for you.”   
  
There was silence for a moment, even the surrounding commotion seemingly invisible. You began to take a step towards Fred as you stood quite a lengths away from him, feeling a perplexing desire to make contact with him, a strange burning sensation filling your chest that warned you something was amiss. He said something from across the distance that you couldn’t quite make out when suddenly –  _the air exploded_.   
  
A fiery eruption of light and sound sprayed the debris from the wall into millions of shards, a turmoil of black smoke consuming the air even larger than the previous. Your body flung through the blue, knocking the breath from your lungs and filling your vision with a hazy black.   
You wheezed sharply before clutching your head in an attempt to protect it from the blow to come. As your body collided with the ground you felt an agonizing crack in your abdomen, desperate to bellow your pain but unable to make a sound as you gasped for air. Dust and rubble covered you and hot liquid dripped from your cheek profusely; the air was cold and parched, and a revolting smell of soil and rotting clogged your nostrils. Your hearing wavered in and out for a few moments before you heard an indelible shriek echo through the grounds. You struggled to your feet, clutching your ribs as you stumbled and swayed, vision fading from black to blur. You attempted to make sense of the shapes in front of you but dizziness controlled you and suddenly your consciousness was slipping away. 

“No – no – no!” a voice cried from the distance, as your body crashed to the ground. 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

When you finally came to, there was crisp quietude. Muffled sobs could be heard faintly at times, but otherwise it was dead air. You struggled to sit up, the insufferable pain in your abdomen had settled somewhat but lingered along with a splitting in your head and a continuous ringing in your ears. Your eyes had taken in an excessive amount of dust, but otherwise your vision had mostly returned.

Harry and Hermione sat on a bench close to you, half destroyed and split in several places, and as it appeared you were in the remains of the Great Hall. When they had noticed you were awake they both jerked up, rushing over to steady you to your feet.

“Y/N, we thought we’d lost you, too,” Harry said, lifting you to your feet in a joint effort with Hermione.  
  
Your throat was parched and your voice came raspy, “Is it over?”   
  
Hermione stared at you with somber eyes, “For now,” she replied, a quiet sob escaping her lips, “They want Harry to go to the Forbidden Forest.”  
  
“I’m going,” Harry interjected, his eyes vacant, “I have to.”   
  
“You  _can’t!_ ” Hermione’s voice cracked as she whispered angrily.  
  
You studied Harry and Hermione with caution before interrupting their squabble, “Where is everyone?”

   
You wanted to voice your concern for Harry so desperately, but your mind had been so muddled that you couldn’t be concerned about all the right things. Harry and Hermione stopped bickering mid-sentence, eyes flickering back and forth between you, whispering words unbeknownst to you.

“Where’s Fred?”

Neither of them made a sound for ages, their eyes drifting away with discomfort every time they met yours.  
Hermione’s eyes had been puffy and swollen, a clear indication that she'd been weeping for quite some time. Her dark hair lay frizzed and bushy, even more so than usual, and the tip of her nose reddened as her breath hitched between sniffles. Harry was more difficult to read, but it was clear that he was emotionally and physically exhausted.

“We’ll take you,” Harry said, before Hermione continued in unison, “To everyone.”   
  
You didn’t know what reaction their words were supposed to spur. You’d meant to ask what they meant, but the words had gotten lost on their way to your mouth. Hermione and Harry grabbed hold of your arms, throwing one over each shoulder and helping you to limp wherever they lead. You winced in pain with every step, sharp crystals of shattered bones, abrasions and bruises piercing through your body as you sucked in air. Red locks appeared in your vision, an entire Weasley family at best, grouped together around something you couldn’t identify from the distance. The area surrounding them was covered in rubble and blood splotches, disconnecting when the dust met a blanket sprawled on the floor. Where the blanket lay, the tiniest amount of sunlight peeked through a stained glass window above them, barely visible through the clouds.  
  
“What are they doing?” You whispered weakly, not terribly sure if you wanted to know.  
  
Your eyes darted to Hermione, noticing her eyes looked glossy as her gaze flickered from you and quickly away, pursing her lips. As you grew closer to the cluster of redheads, they turned around to stare at you, some looking up and some paying no mind. Percy, George, and Arthur turned to see you, moving away as you came to a close. Ron and Molly were crouched over a body, a corpse you presumed. Your eyes flickered to the entire family, picking out family members to try and store the inevitable truth in the back of your mind. Ginny? Bill? It couldn’t be … no, that would be ridiculous. You’d just spoke with him minutes ago, it felt like … just how much time had passed while you were unconscious?   
  
“No -” you choked out, “It’s not ...”   
  
Harry and Hermione tightened their grip on you when they felt your entire body shivering and quaking. Your stomach sunk into nothingness, feeling as if every organ in your body had deflated and your head was spinning spirals.   
Fred just lay there, the ghost of his former self etched on his face, pale and lifeless. He’d looked nothing like you’d seen him just moments before the explosion, a face nearly unrecognizable. The sight made you nauseous, your legs buckling underneath you slightly as Harry and Hermione supported your weight. Salty tears escaped your eyes, and once they'd began to flow, a stream of a dozen more followed.

You broke away from their grip; they were hesitant but let you go with ease at the last minute.  
_It had to be done,_  they thought. You tried to run at Fred’s body, but your knees gave out once again and you fell to the ground half way, the cement scraping your knees into a bloody mess but unable to resonate any of the physical pain you were feeling just seconds before, only an emotional pain you couldn’t describe. Ron and Molly, who had been kneeling beside his body, moved away when you’d stumbled over.   
  
“Fred …” You croaked, sobbing uncontrollably, your words almost incoherent, “I’m in love with you ..."

You laid against his chest, clutching his torn shirt, “I promised I’d say it ... if we died today ...”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Thinking back to that day, you’d laid there for hours, the Weasley’s having to pry you from the body. Harry had defeated You-Know-Who and everything had gone back to normal – as normal as things could get, at least. You hadn't contacted any of your friends that summer, they'd understood that you needed space, and so they gave you space –  _except_  for Hermione, that is. She'd kept up on sending letters at least once every week. You let out a sigh as you cut open the wax seals on the rest of the letters that had piled up on your desk, making a side-note that you needed to reply  _today,_  and to stop putting it off.

_Dear Y/N,_

 

_Harry wrote to me that you haven't replied to any of our letters. I do hope you're all right, but we all understand you need space._

_The Weasley's really miss you ... they're actually in vacation in Egypt again – they invited me, but I had to decline._

_Did you hear? Ron and Harry got hired as Aurors! As for me, I'll be returning to Hogwarts to finish my eighth year. What are you going to do? You should come back and – well, we should spend the school year together!  Before the summer is over, my parents would like to take a week-long trip to somewhere new; I hope we'll at least make a trip to Diagon Alley before the holiday ends. I heard that Franciscus Fieldwake published a new book, I find Legillimensy to be quite interesting lately – I mean, can you imagine! Reading minds ..._

_Anyways, just a suggestion, but I was thinking, if you're struggling with closure with ... well, you know ... you should try to write a letter addressed to him?_

 

_Love Hermione_

 

You couldn't help but let out a chuckle. Even through letters, Hermione had somehow managed to ramble on for ages - you did agree with her idea though, and figured there was no reason not to try.

Your chair squeaked as you rocked back, stretching your legs out with a groan before pulling out a quill and parchment.

A soft smile crept onto your lips, and you began to write.

 

_Dear, Fred_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it to the end!!
> 
> This is my first ever One-shot, and also practically my first ever fan-fiction, so I don't know how good or bad it is but I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> \+ Just to clarify, the ending is supposed to be your interpretation, I wanted /Reader to be able to immerse themselves in it a bit more ... What would you have written to him?

**Author's Note:**

> You made it to the end!!
> 
> This is my first ever One-Shot, and also practically my first ever fan fiction, so I don't know how good or bad it will be, but I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> \+ Just to clarify, the ending is supposed to be your interpretation, I wanted /Reader to be able to fully immerse themselves into the fic a bit better ... What would you have written to him?


End file.
